I haven’t had a whole lot to talk about in this space lately, and I think that’s mainly been because how I’ve been feeling. I’m not entirely sure what the catalyst was, but I’ve been a little sad lately. Maybe it’s more of a frustrating feeling, actually. I want to just suddenly be successful. I want to find that special “thing” that puts me over the top and gets me some positive attention. Even though I feel that there’s nothing that could ever keep me away from producing my artwork and posting about it, like I’ve been doing all this time, I can’t help but occasionally feel that it might take me the rest of my life to get to where I’d like to be.

Of course, if I wanted to be wealthy, I wouldn’t of decided to be an artist. I would have chosen to spend all my time with full-time employment. However, I’m not really striving for wealth. I want to know what it feels like to pay my rent, eat relatively healthy, and have a social life, all paid for by people that enjoy my artwork. Right now I would settle for one of those things.

I wouldn’t consider myself an impatient person. Frankly, if I didn’t feel any sense of ambition or motivation – which tends to lead to impatience –  then I should probably be worried that I won’t ever achieve any of the goals I have. I would probably just sit around and do nothing day after day. Instead, I choose to spend a few hours or so a day drawing, writing, and reading/researching. I guess it’s just part of being Human to take these long-term chances and sometimes feel uneasy about whether it will eventually pay off.

I’ll finish this post by mentioning one thing that really keeps me going. Something I’ve mentioned before, I’m sure. When I think about what the process would be if I quit doing this, I can’t help but imagine that if I had of just kept on going just a little bit longer, I would of caught my break. Could even be the moment after I quit. There’s no way I’m ever letting that happen.